Missing you.

Its been 12 years today that my my life was changed forever but it seems like just yesterday. So much has changed since then but its amazing how sadness can linger in your heart through the years no matter how much time has passed. Its definitely not like the enormous amount of pain that was there then but the pain that has hung on to me, I really think that unfortunately will last a lifetime.



On January 20. 1999 one of my dearest friends Michelle passed away. It wasn't my first time experiencing a close person pass away but this one was very different. Michelle was so amazing in so many ways. She was only on this earth for 16 years yet everyone who she came in contact with was a better person because of it. She was SO friendly, SO cheerful, SO full of energy and life. She was always there for anyone that knew her and was such a breathe of fresh air. She, like all of us at that age were going through personal demons that I think all teenagers go through at one point or another. We all are going through a trying time during those years, and I know even for myself that was an awkward stage for many of me and my friends. Trying to find out who we were, what we were here to do, and would we EVER finish high school and MOVE OUT of our "dreaded" parents houses.



Unfortunately, that time never came for her. When she passed away she left so many questions (that still have yet to be answered), so much hurt, so much pain and so much sadness. I still feel this way even though many years have past since I've seen her smiling face. The tears still come down knowing that I will NEVER be able to share certain things with her ever again. WHY? WHY? WHY? Why did this have to have happen? Could we have done something different? I know that is just the hurt in me asking WHY because I know there is nothing we could of done and the outcome would of been the same because God really makes it so EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON.And its okay that we don't know the answers to it because obviously, everything in life isn't so that we understand it.



I think losing Michelle so young has made me a better friend, a MUCH stronger person, a better listener, and has made me treasure my time with my loved ones EVEN MORE because you NEVER know when the last time you are going to see them again.



Time waits for no one.


But until then, Rest in Peace Michelle Dawn Godfrey! I miss you beyond words can describe, I love you so much and I will NEVER EVER forget you! ♥


They say time heals everything..... but I'm still waiting..